"Wait, wait for me, Jothi," cried Radha. From a safe distance, legs askance, black eyes twinkling and partly covered by the bountiful hair caressing her forehead, Jothi gives a throatful laughter. The golden retriever Sandy flips over on the grass as though joining Jothi in her merriment. "OK, gramma, you can get me now," she calls out, yet ready to take flight if Radha came any closer. Radha looks at the adorable little girl that seems to glow in the evening sun. Her eyes mist. Suddenly, it is not Jothi, but it is Jothi's mother Vani that she sees. The big black eyes teasing, legs forever dancing to some distant rhythm. "Vani, I mean Jothi, wait" she says. This makes Jothi burst with peals of laughter. She pats the puppy and looks at her grandmother fondly. "I am not mom. I am Jothi, gramma". "So are you" sighs Radha. Jothi picks up some acorns and turns to her grandmother, "Gramma, what are these?" "Oh, they are squirrel's eggs," says Radha with a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, really! I am going to collect them and take them home." A smile passes over the grandmother's lips. "Why Jothi, what are you going to do with them?" "Oh, grandma, mom told me how the 4 squirrels sit on their eggs so that baby squirrels can come. I am going to make baby squirrels." Radha stands still, as though she is in another time, another period. The same scene, with the only difference that it is Vani, her own daughter, that she finds sitting on the acorns to hatch!

"Come on Jothi, let us get home and see what mom has gotten for us." The withered brown hands reach over to hold the soft little white hands. Radha looks at her granddaughter with great pride and pleasure. Her own black eyes appear to look back at her from an otherwise fair face. Radha shakes her head, "What a beautiful blend! The gold of Vani merged with the white of David! Who would have thought that I of all people will have an American grandchild!" Radha came to Little Rock from a small town in the Southern part of India. "It has been a very long journey indeed," she tells herself, "time to go". "Gramma, you keep talking to yourself," says Jothi and nestles her head in her grandmother's dress. Radha bends over the adorable head and hugs the winsome girl. She turns her granddaughter's face to her and says, "Jothi, do you know what your name means?" Jothi's eyes twinkle, since she has beard this question so many times. She looks askance at her grandmother, does a little pirouette and nods her head, first as though to say yes and then changes her mind and nods a negative. Radha laughs out loud. "You are naughtier than your mom. I shall tell you again. You are the light of the family. You are the light of my life."

"Rajathi, come here, do you know what your name means?" The little Radha with big black eyes looks askance at her father and does a little turn. Her father laughs and says, "You are the princess of this house and you are the light of this house." Her mother smiles indulgently, and says, "Please let your princess help me in the kitchen so that when she grows up she will not starve her husband!" "Hush, mother," says the father, "She is Rajathi. She will not cook, she will not clean the house, she will have a hundred servants to do everything for her". Radba laughs out loud at the memory, because it is true that she has been Rajathi or Methrani, the queen, but also a methrani, the cleaning woman and cleaned the toilets in her own home in Little Rock. No self-pity there, but just amusement. Radha nods her head. It has been a good life. How nice it will be to sit in the cozy kitchen in India, eating the fresh "doshas" or pancakes that her mom heaps on her plate and to hear her father quizzing her in "As You Like It". "Yes, appa, I am a school girl, with a shining morning face and a satchel, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school". How she loved to show off her knowledge in Shakespeare before her father! Sure enough her father kept his promise and gave her the highest education possible. As he said ""Sky was the limit for his Rajathi." What he did not expect was that Rajathi would fly away. Fly away, she did and found new life in a distant land. Only when she had her own grown up children did she realize how much he must have missed her back home. Such is the callousness of youth.

The little tug on her side wakes up Radha from her reverie. "Let us lie down on the grass some more, gramma," clamors Jothi. Radha is only too happy to oblige. Sandy yelps with joy and takes turns licking their faces. The afternoon is serene, with a gentle breeze lulling them to sleep and the fragrance of the grass and flowers clamoring for attention. Of course life was not always that rosy, thought Radha, but God has always been good to her. She has been the luckiest woman. It was only like yesterday that Vani was talking to her about this nice young man David who has become such a good friend to her. She could not help noticing how her daughter was blossoming right before her eyes and, more importantly, was glowing head to toe. "Vani, are you sure he is just a friend?" "Oh, mom, you and your imagination; he is just a good friend and he is very nice." "OK, if you say so," Radha knew better. Sure enough they were married within a year! Radha could have searched through the world and still could not have found a better son-in-law than David - "No, not son-in-law," she corrected herself fondly, "My son." "Well, I have lived long and happily enough, time to say good bye."

The scene changes. Radha's mother has suffered multiple strokes and lies in her deathbed. Radha refuses to accept that the lively and sprightly woman that is her mother is mortal. Her helplessness frightens her. Suddenly, she senses that her mother is getting ready to leave her. She also is surprised to see this strong lady look frightened, totally aware that the end is near. "Amma, you always told me to repeat the prayer that you taught me, if I was worried about something and could not sleep. Let us both repeat it," says Radha. It is a thirty minute recital. She purposefully changes the wording mid-stream. Her mother looks at her reproachfully and corrects her. Radha hides a smile and makes several mistakes, each time letting her mother correct her. When they are through, her mother gazes at her, with a knowing look. "Rajathi, do not leave me yet. I want to see that smile again," says her mother. Radha swallows the lump in her throat and smiles at her mother. Her mother turns to her son and says, "That is my Rajathi, always smiling, even when she is crying. Hasn't that been always true, Rajathi?" Radha's head shoots up and their eyes met. Mother and daughter share long held secrets through the night. A silent acknowledgment of truth behind a veil of tears and smiles. "Will I ever see her again?"

"Mom, Jothi, what are you both up to?" Radha wakes up from her reverie and tries to focus her gaze through the haze of tears on the lovely impish face hovering over them. It is as though life and not death is beckoning to her. "Well, it is not time yet. Let me stay for some more time." Looking at Vani's puzzled face, Radha realizes that she is once again talking to herself. "I need to get rid of this habit of talking to myself. It can get me into trouble with you". She smiles indulgently at her daughter and nods her head. "Well, Jothi has just been collecting some acorns to hatch baby squirrels". Their eyes meet in a twinkling tryst, while Jothi's eyes are busy watching the acorns in utter concentration. Three pairs of black eyes, alike and yet different, tied with the same string of life. "I shall live for ever," decides Radha, in a sudden burst of hope and cheer, "I need to go for my aerobics!"

Subbi Pillai